The life of my new knee

A rough few months

2011-08-22T02:38:00.000-07:00

Well it's been a year since my TKR and I would love to say the pain has eased but unfortunatly it hasn't and my consultant has decided it is the end of the line and there is no longer anything that can be done for me.

I was gutted when I heard the news but now I am angry that there is nothing they can do it annoys me so much that there isn't anymore research into my condition I wish there was more I could do.

I am going to try and get the pain under control some how!

First physio in 2 weeks and 3 months post op!

2010-11-04T10:45:00.000-07:00

Well it has been a busy few weeks with relatives staying and the kiddies off school so I have been done loads more than I noramlly would and it all came to a bit of an explosion on Saturday night and I had a complete meltdown at a friends party and started crying I have no idea why I just couldn't stop!

Hubby wants me to see the doctor so I have made an appointment on Tuesday I don't feel depressed just frustrated!I want to be able to do more without pain sleep more without pain and get a normal life back!

I know I need patience but it is a bit rough after 3 months,there is a load of things that I can do now that I couldn't 3 months ago but there is also a load of things that I could do pre op that I still can't do :(

So physio today went ok I did 15 minutes on the pedals then we had a look at my walking and he suggested we strengthen up my hip as it seems to be causing walking issues.

I will happy when I have NO problems whatsoever if that day ever comes?????

It's been a while.........

2010-10-23T03:03:00.000-07:00

So I haven't posted for a while not sure why just don't think I have had much to say!

I had my appointment at Wrightington with the registrar and he basically said I need to chill out and stop worrying about my progress as it could take 6 to 12 months :( That is a depressing thought but one that I just have to get on with!

My knee is still at 90 degree bend and it almost feels like something is stopping it from bending further so the physio has suggested I just do some stretches and light bends and not push it past the pain barrier so that's the plan for a few days.

The pain is still the same I tried to reduce the meds by 10mg last weekend but I just ended up taking double the amount of oramorph so I upped them again and I will try it again in a month.

The sleeping is my main issue so my lovely GP has given me some sleeping tablets and Thursday night I got 5 hours and last night I got about 7 I still feel wrecked today but that is because I probably had about 10 hours in a week before that!

Scott has had his renogram and we have to wait a few weeks for his results we aren't too worried though,what will be will be.

I haven't seen much of my friends recently we all have so much going on :( Hopefully we will all get chance to catch up soon I miss them xx

So I will sign off for the weekend :)

90 degree bend.....

2010-10-12T15:10:00.000-07:00

is what I am at and I do not thing I will be getting past it anytime soon so he best be happy with it on Friday!!!

My PT couldn't do too much today as my knee was swollen so we just did lots of stretches and wonderful massages :)

I'm looking forward to a day off appointments tomorrow and just a chill day with hubby hopefully!!

In the middle of the night

2010-10-11T19:17:00.000-07:00

So it's 3.17am and I am wide awake not in pain particularly I just can't find a position to sleep in that doesn't ache after half an hour or so!I'm also worrying about PT later on today,I know it's doing the world of good but while he is working on me I actually scream in pain I feel stupid and wonder if my pain threshold is really poor???He always apologises too and says he hates doing it 

Apart from PT things are ok I'm still not managing to do too much day to day without increased pain,for example today I made breakfast did my exercises and was in pain so rested and iced.Then at lunch I tidied the bedroom and kitchen made lunch did exercises and again was in pain so rested.Then at dinner time I helped with tea put a wash on and some on maiden and in dryer made the kids lunches and I could feel my knee steroid to throb so I had tea and a shower did exercises and got into bed for the night about 7pm and I was in quite a bit of pain by then and it was time for evening Meds!

Well I suppose I should try and sleep hubby leaves for work in an hour so that will give me more of the bed and more positions to try and get to sleep in!

See you in a few hours!!

Another physio appointment

2010-10-06T05:24:00.000-07:00

I have just got home from physio and I have to say it exhausts me!

I had problems over the weekend and I heard a crucnh in my knee and then a small pocket of fluid appeared on the right hand side of my kneecap it seems they think it was a piece of scar tissue being broken through and the swelling is just the knees way of protecting itself and letting me know something is going on they said to keep icing and elevating and to keep up with all the physio I have been doing.

Then we went on to 40 minutes of sheer hell!There is no other way to describe it :( I lie on my front and he pushes my knee over and over again my leg was quiveing whilst he was doing all this and I was biting the sleeve of my jumper!It is horrible but it gets me to 95 degrees by the end of the session so I suppose I just have to put up with the pain????

Anything else?

2010-10-01T10:14:00.000-07:00

Can anything else really happen?

We were at the hospital yesterday and the scans showed Scott has an abnormality on his kidney so he has to have yet more tests!While we were at the hospital there was anthrax scare luckily we just escaped being caught up in it all!

Today Lucia is ill and I am really worried she is trying to avoid eating,she says she feels dizzy quite a lot at school and she seems to be avoiding eating full meals :( I am going to take her to the doctors next week.

Last night was the worst night I have had in a long time I was in so much pain and I couldn't sleep it was 4am before I dropped off and then was awake again at 7am and I haven't been able to sleep today so I feel terrible :(

Oh well onwards and upwards!!

owwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

2010-09-29T13:32:00.000-07:00

OMG I was attacked by the PT today!She pushed it so hard I started at 65 degrees and finished at 90 after 30 minutes that just shows how much she pushed me I came home and took meds put ice on it and passed out for 2 hours!

Then after sorting my meds out I realised I had none left I am so stupid!So it will be late Thursday now before I get any!

We are at the hospital tomorrow for Scott's kidney appointment I hope it's ok news we can't take much more bad news.

My poor brother is struggling to he has found out his girlfriend has been cheating on him so he has moved out of the family home and had to leave his little girl behind,he is an amazing dad and would never be any less after the way our father treated us.I hope things work out for them I hate seeing him unhappy xx

Boring.....

2010-09-27T10:53:00.000-07:00

I haven't been on for a while seems I don't have much to report :(

After my appalling wait (4 hours) to see my surgeon the other day I have been busy busy busy doing lots of physio in hope he has a bit more respect for me when I go back in October!

I have done a bit more around the house this weekend and I seem to be steadier on my feet as long as it isn't straight after physio.

I spent a lovely few hours with a friend on Saturday and booked my best friend's hen do to Egypt last night I cannot wait :)

Angry upset pissed off......

2010-09-22T12:52:00.000-07:00

I don't understand why I ended up in this position I have needed her love support and help for weeks now and I have had barely anything she showed a few moments of love when she sent me a hamper to the hospital and came and got me for breakfast but beside that all I have had is the compulsory calls every day.

She was phoned a few weeks ago and it was her friends daughter who they have been estranged from for many months to be told her Grandad was dying and she jumped into action and did everything she possibly could for them,now do not get me wrong I am not saying she shouldn't be doing all this but why didn't she show this much compassion for me?Am I jealous of a dying old man?Yes I suppose I am I have never had that much love from her some day maybe.............

I'm taking on the world today!

2010-09-20T04:14:00.000-07:00

After only an hours sleep on Saturday night I slept for 9 whole hours last night it was wonderful :)

I have also lost 4lbs in a week which has made me even happier!!

So I started my physio this morning and feel on top of the world,my knee bends are still giving me a bit of grief and they are hard to do but I will persevere with icing and pain meds to get through them.

I need to be careful this week and rest as I have a funeral Wednesday which could result in a long day and then the trip to the hospital on Friday.

So lots of rest this week!

2nd Physio

2010-09-16T14:28:00.000-07:00

And I am cheesed off :( I did get to 65 degrees so I went up 10 degrees in a week and a bit but it's not enough and he thinks the surgeon will suggest an MUA next week I really don't want to go down to theatre again but if I have to I will :(

I'm not sure i fancy staying in that crappy hospital again though!Wonder if hubby will pay for private???

Hubby's days off....

2010-09-14T04:35:00.000-07:00

and all he does is clean clean clean clean!:(

I hate it I feel so bad for him he must be shattered!We barely get time to see each other on his days off he has that much to catch up on :(

I just wish we could sit and watch a DVD I've asked him to leave it but he won't :(

So I haven't gone to physio because my belly was killing me this morning,so I have changed it to Thursday instead.

According to my GP I have take 6 sachets of Movicol today in a litre of water so I am to start drinking it in a minute god I hope it helps!

I will keep you all informed,my posts have been so informative the last few days!LOL!!

Sorry for the absence

2010-09-13T11:02:00.001-07:00

So it's been a few days since my last post where I was having a total stress out!

My lovely hubby totally understood and even brought me home prepared salad bowls so I could easily carry them in my pockets or a bag over my shoulder to the table to the table or somewhere more comfy he is a star :)

Saturday night friends came round for takeaway and to watch X Factor and it was nice to have a laugh and chill out but it exhausted me and it was so sore sitting on the couch for those few hours!

Sunday a good friend that lives in a different town about 45 minutes away took me and Scott out for lunch it was a perfect day that resulted in a night of agony and this morning by belly was so sore as I am still suffering constipation I'm probably only going once a week!I have upped my intake of fibre and Movicol and even invested in some yukky prune juice so hopefully I will go soon!IT'S THE MORPHINE that is causing it so there isn't an awful lot I can do about that until the pain eases and I reduce the meds.

Mood was a bit low today but I think it was just because I has such a lovely weekend and reality hit in today when Scott went to work and the kids went to school and I was all alone!

Physio tomorrow :) I am looking forward to seeing if I have increased some knee bend I have been trying very hard!

My other knee is giving me a bit of grief I hope he doesn't want to do the latteral release too soon :(

24th September is the day I see my surgeon I will have a list of questions!!

Complete meltdown

2010-09-10T07:07:00.000-07:00

Well I have had a bit fo a meltdown and I know I am acting like a complete bitch and being horrible to my husband and I will have to grovel big time when he comes home but I just don't know where these emotions are coming from!

So again I got barely anysleep last night so I have tried so hard this morning to fall asleep and everytime I do domething wakes me or I feel like I'm not sleeping properly or pain wakes me so I still haven't managed even an hour :(

So I decided to go down and make some lunch and the sandwich is the easiest thing because I can wrap it up pop it in a bag and carry it through to a room or table but I went in the fridge and there was no meat cheese anything and Scott did a £100 shop online that was delivered yesterday so I lost it and rang him and asked him why he hadn't ordered anything and he said sorry I forgot but I still felt mad and wanted to shout so I quickly put the phone down before i said things I would later regret :( God how he must be going through hell at the moment I am so miserable all of the time and this was mean't to be our new start!

So I came back upstairs had a good cry and got a very long shower sat on my seat I will have to go and sit at the kitchen unit on my perching stool and eat a bowl of soup or something as it is the only way to do it but I just don't want too :(

Busy busy busy

2010-09-10T03:34:00.000-07:00

With all my physio exercises I am doing them all the time it seems I think I over did yesterday though as my hips and back and knees hurt very odd!

I am sooooooooooooo tired even with all the sleeping tablets my doctor gave me!

A family friend has taken a turn for the worse this week after developing bone cancer a few months back and now he only has days to live so my mum is spending every spare minute there and she is also away on Sunday so there is no chance I will be able to get any help this weekend,in fact the help isn't always what I want the company would be nice too I sit here from 830am till 330pm most days and then when Scott gets in he is so busy bless him that we barely talk and by 8pm he is fast asleep and i'm alone again :(

It's a good job I have some wonderful computer friends who are here to chat and send me DVD's and books :) Where would I be without my cyber friends?

1st Physio appointment

2010-09-07T04:02:00.000-07:00

So it started off interesting I was picked up by an ambulance and there was 2 people already on it the seat I had to sit on was far too high and really uncomfortable for me as I haven't got a good knee bend so I went on a 20 minute journey in pain on arrival the physio department was right at the back of the hospital at least a 5 minute walk and it was the first time in a week I had done this length of a walk so it was a struggle so even before I got with the physio I was in pain!

I needn't have worried though as we did NOTHING well I say nothing he measured my knee bend and felt my knee!We then spent the other 25 minutes discussing my medical history which drives me mad why don't they know it already!Oh and guess what he had no idea what SC was!No big surprise there!

He said he didn't know how to deal with me really and he didn't want to leave me in too much pain but he also doesn't want me not to achieve more knee bend so its a catch 22 situation!

So he gave me a whole load of exercises and said do as many as you feel can without being in pain and I will see you in a week!It was all very rushed as he was only allowed exactly 30 minutes with me!

Then on to the ambulance again 6 of us this time 2 who were sat with knees touching each other!One old dear had us in absolute stitches about her toilet antics!Another old man was taking the piss out of her it was so funny!

So I suppose I should get on with my exercises!

Oh and he said to still avoid weight bearing for now!Oh and I forgot my bend is 55 degrees so it has only gone up 10 degrees in nearly 5 weeks!

Help

2010-09-06T07:34:00.000-07:00

Between us we need some help,Scott is working all the hours god sends and then coming home and cooking cleaning and looking after me,it's such a nightmare for him and all this and there could be people helping us and noone is.
I can't remember the last time a friend came to see me or ask if we needed help we are just struggling by and before long one of us is going to crack we are both totally exhausted.
We haven't smiled laughed or had fun for a month now and yes I know this is a hard struggle and it's not mean't to be fun but god please give us a break :(

A bit of housework

2010-09-04T08:37:00.000-07:00

This is all I did,I chopped some fruit sat on a stool,I put a wash in the machine some on the maiden and some in the tumble and I am in complete agony so that's it I'm not doing any again!

SHAME!!!!!!!!

Back to resting it is then!

Sleep deprived

2010-09-04T06:16:00.000-07:00

I am so tired I probably won't remember typing this post.......

I am barely getting 3 hours a night now I have tried all sorts of relaxation therapies and I have downloaded numerous apps on my Iphone but nothing helps!

I am either awake in pain or I can't get comfortable or I am having nightmares!So what's the answer?Sleep in the day?I wish!!In between the door going the phone ringing the kids shouting at me for something or the next doors dog yapping not to mention the disapproving look I get from Scott when he thinks I should try not to sleep in the day as that is why I don't sleep at night!I am basically surviving on about 4 hours maximum in a 24 hour period I have bags the size of Tesco bags for life under my eyes!My speech feels slurred I can't string a sentence together and I am so over emotional if I'm not screaming I'm crying!Hopefully it will all settle down eventually!

I feel like I could drop off now but Scott has just walked in after being at work since 5am so I feel it's a bit rude if I just start snoozing the minute he walks through the door!

It went so well :)

2010-09-02T09:29:00.001-07:00

That I thought today deserved 2 posts!:)

Ciaran's best friend has come back to his school that makes me feel so bloody happy!!!!!!!!!!!!He was also given a job he is a door monitor and he is very proud about this!

On to the knee well it's hurt all day and I have had to take extra Oramorph all day I have had 3 lots of 5mls and I shouldn't really be needing this now I am on 40mg MST :( and I'm not doing any exercises barely!

I have tried to catch up some sleep too and I keep having horrible horrible dreams everytime I drop off,in todays I was stuck in a room and in my dream I felt like I was shouting at to let me out and honestly it felt so real it was just so odd :( When I did wake I had been asleep 15 minutes,this happens all the time too!Oh well maybe one day I will sleep for now I will just run on empty!

Just have to mention Lucia and her "mini dramas" I went shopping with her before my operation for bras so she didn't have to do it with Scott and I told her to buy white bras but she insisted that she wouldn't need them,fast forward to 5 minutes ago when she was screaming that you could see the bras through her shirts and what was I going to do about it!Well not much the evening before school!So off she huffed Kevin and Perry style!

Just before I go here is a quick update pic of my scar

Ciaran's first day of year 6

2010-09-02T01:08:00.000-07:00

Looking back a year when he was starting year 5 and he was scared, nervous and didn't want to go I am glad so much has changed in the last year :)He was happy, excited and desperate to get there this morning :)

It certainly makes it easier for me knowing that he is so happy :)

So as he is off enjoying himself I will be rest rest rest resting!

I'm starting the day off with a crappy film as my silly On Demand box is broke!

Then I'm going to try and finally finish a book off!

I got up with Ciaran this morning and went downstairs to help with his breakfast not that I can do much it was more like he was helping me and god how I wished I had taken my meds first as after being downstairs for 30 minutes I was in absolute agony,Ciaran carried my brew back up the stairs for me and I have settled down for the morning

I won't be making that mistake again!

2010-08-31T12:46:00.000-07:00

Trusting the GP's receptionist to pass on a bloody message again!

Friday morning I rang the GP's after he asked me to,to inform them how my pain was and I expected them to get back in touch but they didn't but I left it because I knew I had enough meds till Monday morning and I would get the rest in the afternoon.Well how stupid am I!It's bloody Bank Holiday weekend so come Monday am I had taken the last of my meds and OMG yesterday was a nightmare the pain was terrible and today isn't much better either to be honest even with the meds!

I have also been told to slow down by the PT so the walking I was just beginning to enjoy the start of some freedom and it all has to stop :(

So backwards I go again........this knee is always going to test me!

Day 22

2010-08-27T05:21:00.000-07:00

So here we are just over 3 weeks post op and things are ok,I can't say that I am happy as of yet with my new knee and the moment I am having a bit of a love hate relationship with it!I love that one day it will give me the chance to do so much but I hate that it hurts so much right now.

My daily routine is pretty much the same at the moment I wake in agony and really stiff I struggle to the toilet on my crutches and putting the weight through it is really sore,I take my meds I'm on 30mg MST now instead of the Tramadol and I do my physio,knee bends and leg raises I still don't think I am much past 50 degree knee bend and I can raise my leg but I can only do it once as it hurts so much so I am concentrating on strengthening my thighs and quad muscles.

I then try to get as comfy as possible which is nearly impossible and I ice it lots and then more physio and a short walk and I mean short I can only manage to go about 5 doors up the street and back and the day continues pretty much the same!

I am bored and tired as I am not sleeping and I feel horrible from the drugs and the emotions are ridiculous I have been crying at everything!

Anyway enough from happy me for the day!

AWOL

2010-08-23T03:13:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't posted sooner but this recovery lark is bloody hard work!

I'm Day 18 post op now and things are improving slowly I have had all my dressings removed and the steri strips have come off,I'll pop some pictures on look away if squeamish!

My knee bend is still 45 degrees but I managed to do one leg raise yesterday I know one whole leg raise whoopeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Anyway getting over the pain has been a struggle I started on 200 mg of Tramadol morning and night followed by 8 paracetemol a day and up to 50mg Oramorph and it just wasn't helping so my lovely GP came to see me on Friday and put me on a 20mg dose of MST and that seemes to have helped I am taking up to 20mg of Oramorph for breakthrough pain and will probably need to up the dose to 30mg MST this week.

The pain seems a lot better for now :)

Hometime :)

2010-08-15T09:28:00.000-07:00

Physio came at 8am I walked the length of the ward and did the stairs and my knee bend had gone up by 30 degrees so she was happy for me to go home :) She asked me where I wanted to go to physio so I requested that hospital as I had heard wonderful things about them.She said it was no problem :)

Then came the start of the wait for home time,what a flaming nightmare every excuse possible was thrown at us and at one point I couldn't have any meds because my meds were at the pharmacists so I was left in pain!!!

5pm I finally left and not one nurse asked how I would be getting to the front of the hospital how I was getting home or even if I would be ok once I got home!I was so disappointed in this hospital after all the good things I had heard about it :(

Anyway finally home and I struggled the stairs and flopped on to my bed and didn't move for the rest of the night!

Tuesday 10th August

2010-08-15T03:56:00.000-07:00

In all the drama I totally forgot to mention it was hubby's birthday yesterday how rude am I!!!!

My mum sent him to the hospital with a cake and a candle and we sang Happy Birthday :)I'd already given him an Ipod Touch a few weeks earlier and I had bought him a docking station too.

So I wasn't getting any visitors till evening today so I was concentrating on physio and rest all day,no visitors mean't I had to eat whatever muck they brought me from lunch and boy was it disgusting that is mean't to be mushroom soup!Dinner was no better either,beef hotpot!The NHS needs a huge makeover!

Thankfully hubby and sister brought enough food to feed an army!

Physio came and informed me that I needed to achieve a 90 degree bend and I was only at 20 to 30 so that set me into major panic aout wether I would ever get home!

Monday day from hell!

2010-08-14T12:18:00.000-07:00

So the word on the ward was people were being moved to another ward and I just knew it would end up being me and I didn't want to leave this beautiful ward!

The first lot were shipped out at 10am and I thought I was safe but no 3pm came and I was told to pack up as I was moving,not even to a bloody rehab ward to an admissions ward that wasn't equipped for post op pateients!

The ward was a disgrace it was packed to the brim of inpatients waiting for ops and I wasn't seen to till I had been there 3 hours!No one even asked if I could make my way to the toilet alone or if I needed any meds!

Teatime came and the shout went down the ward to come and help yourself,I sat on the bed wondering if anyone would come and help me,15 minutes later a nurse asked why I hadn't got my tea,well hello I cannot walk!!!She went off and reappeared with a plate of 7 chips and some gravy!I was disgusted!

Things continued to go downhill and we didn't receive our night meds till midnight as they were only 2 nurses and 26 patients!

I finally dropped off at 1am and hoped Tuesday would be different!

Saturday 7th August

2010-08-14T03:46:00.001-07:00

Today I was woken at 5am to be told my Nerve Block and PCA Morphine pump were to be removed and that the physio would be getting me out of bed!

The physio came at 8am and they helped me get up and put my legs over the bed and OMG did I feel awful,dizzy sick hot shaky and the pain was awful!I managed 3 steps before they had to sit me back down :(

They don't work Sunday so they said they would see me on Monday and to do some exercises over the weekend.

The nerve block and pain pump were removed and the agony was back :( Scott and my friends arrived at 11ish and cheered me up :) Clare bought me lots of pressies she's a fab friend xx

They all went off for lunch while I face another gross meal from the hospital and the removal of my drain from my knee which I already knew was horrible as I had one before now.I was right it was terrible having a plastic tube dragged from the inside of your knee is very un natural!

The rest day went by in by in a blur as did Sunday lots of exercises and plenty of pain!

Recovery

2010-08-13T08:36:00.001-07:00

Finally at 6ish I was wheeled into recovery HDU where my care was taken over by a lovely but slightly stressed nurse Gillian whose job it was to observe my obs and keep my pain under control.

Everything seemed to be fine,I spoke to Scott and my mum on the phone they weren't allowed into the HDU and I felt ok.

But then it all started going wrong the Epidural started to wear off and the pain was getting unbearable so the anaethesist was called to up the Epidural,15 minutes later he arrived and the pain was hideous by this point and I was barely holding it together :( He topped up the Epidural and I was told it would be 10 minutes and the pain would be under control,it didn't happen :(

The nurses then changed shifts and the wonderful Jenny became my nurse and she took control she set up a morphine pump which I could press every 5 minutes,it didn't take the pain away but it eased it but she wasn't happy with this she wanted it all gone!So she tried her hadest to get me a nerve block but the on call doctor was having none of it!Jenny stayed by my side from 8pm till 7am and it was a very tough night for both of us :( We sat and had tea and I cried and she reassured me and she continued to badger the doctor who kept coming and upping my epidural but it wasn't even numbing me!

When she went off shift at 7am Gillian came back on and the aneathesist from the operation was there within an hour giving me a nerve block he cut into my groin and put a small tube down with a anesethitic in which worked within half an hour and I became pain free along with the help of the morphine!

I was then moved to a private ward as there was no beds available anywhere else in the hospital and I was finally able to see Scott again as he had stayed over night and hadn't been able to see me since 2pm the previous day I can only imagine how worried he was :(

So my room was lovely it had patio doors leading out on to some beautiful gardens I had an ensuite not that this mattered as I had a catheter in!A huge wardrobe for all my stuff and a plasma TV happy days :)

I don't remember much of Friday I think I slept on and off for most of it,Tommo came to see me in the evening with a huge bowl of Haribo and a balloon I don't really rememeber much else think the morphine might have been taking effect!He took Scott home to Blackpool with him at about 7ish and I chilled for the night.

It's back on!

2010-08-13T04:51:00.000-07:00

They were ringing to ask if I would come in for the operation now!Had I had anything to eat?Luckily I hadn't it must have been fate so I shouted to Scott to bring in the washing as we were back on!

He wasn't impressed actually as he had just picked the dog up and he had told work he would be back in at the weekend!

We both rushed round like blue arsed flies for 15 minutes and rang frantically around people for a lift to the hospital my ex MIL came up trumps as usual :)So within 30 minutes we were on our way to Wrightington!I was in the back frantically scrubbing purple nail polish off my toes while Scott sat in a state of shock!

Thank god for Facebook and Twitter as I was able to tell all friends and family it was back on in one foul swoop!

At the hospital it was a rush of getting my gown on and having bloods done and before I knew it I was off to theatre and I hadn't even signed the consent form!So theatre staff got a surgeon out to go through the forms and I signed my knee away!The staff were amazing so upbeat and had me in stitches,I made the final walk to the pre theatre room to have my aneasthesia and they were all laughing at how I was the patient that nearly got away they hooked me up to a load of machines and prepared to get going when there was a problem....the machines were bust!So I was wheeled into the theatre which was very surreal it was such a big white sparky place with lots of equipment and they started trying to put the cannula in my hand well I had already warned them that it was very difficult to find a vein and I was right 6 attempts and 2 nurses and a consultant later they finally got it in!Then on to the epidural 45 minutes later they finally got that in,all the time the nurses had me at ease and we were singing along to Robbie Williams together!

They finally gave me some light sedation at about about 4.30pm,I went to theatre at 2.45pm!and I drifted off not before seeing my surgeons appear in space suits and no I wasn't hallucinating!

About three quarters of the way through the op I woke up to a load of noise,sawing and grinding,it didn't freak me out at all it just seemed quite normal and the surgeon had a nice chat with me about how well it was going!

Rollercoaster ride!

2010-08-13T04:39:00.000-07:00

Wednesday 4th August was a nightmare day I went into town to get all the last minute bits I needed and to stock up on supplies for hubby!When I got home there was an answerphone message from the hospital so I rang them back only to receive bad news which was that they had cancelled my bloody op I was angry devastated upset and many more emotions!

Hubby came straight home from work and cuddled me for several hours while I moaned cried and shouted,he is an absolute star and I do not know where I would be without him!

So we ate the wonderful food that was meant to be my final supper before the anaesthetic and went to sleep.I was awake on and off all night wishing it wasn't me that had been cancelled and wondering when I would get another op date,I normally drink lots throughout the night a side effect of all the medication I am on and for some reason I didn't drink anything,we woke at 8am and Scott went for tea and toast but I couldn't face it,I just wanted to curl up in the duvet and feel sorry for myself!So Scott let me and he went to collect the dog from the kennels and he put a wash on and he was just putting it on the line when the phone rang,it was Wrightington................

2 full days to go

2010-08-02T07:34:00.000-07:00

Well as Monday is nealry over it means I only have 2 full days till the big op!

The hopsital rang earlier to confirm the operation date and to check that I am in full health I'm not even allowed any cuts or bruises!

The pain tean also rang to discuss my options for pain relief and they seem to have it all under control so I am feeling loads better about the op :)

So I have cleaned the house totally and all the washing is done and my bags are packed :)

Less than a week

2010-07-30T02:45:00.000-07:00

Not too long now.my bags are packed I still need slippers but it seems impossible to find a full slipper that doesn't look like an old granny's!!I know it seems daft that I won't wear old fuddy duddy slippers but I'm going to lose so much of my dignity already wearing the sexy stocking and paper knickers and lovely hospital gown having nice slippers may help me feel a bit better :)

I am so lucky to have some fantastic friends in my life they took me out last night for a "cheer up" evening and it did just the trick we laughed for 3 hours solid :) I then came home to chat with my virtual friends :)

Son's 10th birthday

2010-07-28T04:59:00.000-07:00

So Happy Birthday to my little man today,it's been a weird start to the day as he isn't here :( For the 1st time in 10 years he has slept over at his dad's and spent his birthday morning with him,we are sat here patiently(well trying to be patient!)waiting for him to come home and open all his pressies!

Next year his birthday could be a whole different event I may be well enough to go out and some fantastic activity with him :) I can't wait!!

Shattered as usual today I didn't get enough sleep last night,I was falling asleep at about 10pm so turned off the TV and settled down for the night only to wake again and 11.30pm in pain down my right hand side from hip to my knee,so I got up took some meds and tried to get comfy again,it just wasn't happening!

I read the rest of my book and tried to sleep again at about 1ish but then continued to wake every hour until 6.30am when I was wide awake!

So I feel like a zombie today!No change there though!

8 days to go

2010-07-27T04:18:00.000-07:00

So I'm nearly into the week countdown!I'm in a bit of shock to be honest that it will all soon be over and I will finally be on that final road to recovery I still can't believe that I could be pain free and able to walk without a stick in a years time!

I went to the doctors and got some new meds yesterday in hope I can get some of the pain under control before the operation.

My life so far

2010-07-25T11:51:00.000-07:00

So I will do a brief background history,I'm Nat I'm 30 years old married with 2 kids who are 10 and 12 and I have Synovial Chondromatosis in my right knee and was diagnosed with this in January 2004.

Rather than me explain what it is here's a link

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synovial_chondromatosis

I have had 4 keyhole surgeries and 2 open knee suregries all of which had bad and good results,but have left me in agony and on crutches,so for nearly 7 years I have been walking with sticks and taking some very strong pain meds.

At the end of last year after another keyhole surgery I was diagnosed with osteoarthritis,which is caused by the SC,and was told I needed a Knee Replacement,now for 6 years I have been begging for one of these but was always told I was too young but now it seems my knee is in such a bad way it is the only option,so I am referred to a specialist hospital Wrightington.

Fast forward a few months and I finally get an op date 5th August 2010,this day couldn't come sooner,I am practically house bound and some days bed bound as my mobility is very bad as is the pain.

My husband and kids have had more than enough of me,having a wife and a mummy that is always miserable from pain and lack of sleep cannot be nice for them.

So hopefully we will all get a new lease of life from my new knee!

I decided to write this blog as having this knee replacement is going to be a huge part of my life for at least the next year and I think it will be good to record my progress.

So on to the countdown,10 days to go!

Here is how my knee looks now